One day my best friend from work was telling me about how she started up a Tinder account. At first I looked at her like she was crazy, she was going to meet up with him and everything. The next day I gave in and she made an account for me out of pure jokes.
Literally for two days I was just on there swipping. I swiped so much one night that I ran out of swipes lol. I texted her like what do I do now, I had to wait 12 hours until I could swipe again. She said she has never heard that before and laughed. As I was waiting, it was a few people I actually engaged in conversation since I had nothing else to do at that time.
It’s something about when you see a pop up that you swiped right on someone who already swiped right on you and bam, you are a match. I think at first the expense to see who liked me was a thrill and made me want to keep going. Like stroking my ego that on the top you see all the people who “liked” you.
Some conversations were dry, some started great and died off, some were awkward and I unmatched a few real quick. But their was ONE. Our conversation was great and rich. It wasn’t dry at any point in time. Literally talked all day!
But I took a different approach with this one, and learned a lot about myself through this process. So I ask questions when I am talking to someone but this go round I asked all the hard deep questions in the first few days of getting to know this complete stranger.
It was going so well that I was comfortable with meeting up with him. Little does he know, before I even gave him my number I found him all up and through his church on fb and ig lol. I got ever piece of information I could possible get, sent it to my mom and my pops ‘God father’ who’s a cop, every single thing about him. Where he worked, how long he was working there, how tall he is, his birthday, a picture, the church he went to, his weight, where he was born, and a little bit about his family, all on the day we were meeting up. Lol
The best hug I’ve ever received from a stranger. I give A one hugs but to receive them smh lol. He looked like his pictures he had on Tinder and on fb lol. It was a little awkward at first but I warmed up, kinda. Any way it went well and we agreed to see each other again.
Not to long after I asked some more heavy questions, we seem to be on the same page with all thus far. Nothing crazy until I asked if sex is important in a relationship, he said yes, I said I’m celibate. As I’m laughing as that night replays in my head, I can not put into words how dead it was after that. So to see how far gone it went, I asked if we were still meeting up on the day we agreed to and he said yes because he is a man of his word but he doesn’t think it’ll go any further than that. I said it was cool, I appreciate him keeping his word but it’s all good and it’s been real.
So it was no hard feelings, he is a cool guy. It’s just good to know these kind of things early instead of wasting each others time 4 months down the line which I have done before but that other guy tried eveything in his power to break me.
Side note: I don’t understand why “boys” take the fact that I’m celibate as a challenge and not respect it, not referring to my Tinder guy but like foreal. Not saying it’s been easy but it definitely has been years, any way that’s for another day.
Back to Tinder guy.
I’ve realized through this process that I was seeking to be accepted. I was longing to be wanted. I realized that I have grown when it comes to dating and my priorities have changed when it comes to who and what I invest my time in. That’s when I realized i had a problem and it needs to be corrected or else I would run into problems when it comes to the men I choice in my life. It also slightly hurt to have made a decision and it not be accepted.
So had a moment with God and He told me that he wants me, He has already accepted me and He is the only one that can fill that void and I have allowed Him too. Also to forgive.
I believe I mentioned in a previous post that with every person I’ve dated, I have learned something new about myself. It could be something good, bad, something to change or something to embrace.
So after all of that Tinder was messing up my phone. I even talked to another friend and she said the same thing. God was telling us something, that night we both deleted the app. It’s not for me lol
God is a good father, He is healing, He is forgiving.
To my Husband, He is preparing me for you as you for me.
Side note: you ever wonder what your significant other goes through to be ready for you. Like what God is doing in there life, because I know what He’s doing to me and in me. Hold on like I am if not stronger sugar foot.